Time IS our most precious commodity, yet too often too many of us give it away like it’s a 2-for-1 deal! As we are so eager to have companionship or a relationship, we move too quick thereby missing too many signs or allowing the mystery and intrigue to peak. At the end of the day, 24 hours is still just 24 hours; never more but usually less depending on how one manages it.
Protecting your time….what exactly does that mean? The premise behind this is quite simple and does not involve trickery nor game playing atleast not in the sense of those silly relationship games we women are too often accused of playing.
Quite simply it is the act of guarding your time until someone has proven to be worthy of it; it is as simple as not being so available especially when first meeting a suitor. It is NOT pretending you have something or someone better as that would be playing a game and honestly I think being honest about who you are, what you expect and deserve (when you know who/what that is of course) is better than any game and usually earns respect from those who matter.
Case in point: you meet a suitor, most likely the first interaction will be a text and I’m not bashing that, however they should set up a ‘date’ to actually meet you for real and beyond a text fest. One who (most likely) has business about themselves or at best obligations and/or responsibilities will respect AND expect the same therefore not expecting you to just ‘drop what you’re doing’ nor to be ‘sitting around doing nothing’ for a 1st date that same day or just on a whim. NO, you want someone who respects your time enough AND has some forethought to atleast plan a date – yes plan.
I often use this as my gauge although let’s be honest, nothing is 100% but for me it comes down to preserving my worth by not giving my time away so freely. I usually could care less about making a statement or proving anything. What I’ve learned however in being such a steward of my time is a mutual respect, a desire from another to prove THEY themselves are worthy to me. Imagine that! Guarding my time also enables me to minimize and often eliminate an unworthy suitor just based on their response or reaction to my time guard.
Case in point: you meet a suitor on a Tuesday afternoon in some random location. You do the usual textfest…I mean it IS the NEW normal for communicating. This new suitor on this same Tuesday says how much they want to see you. Red Flag!! You just met so WHAT does that mean really? Anyhoo, new Tuesday suitor asks if you can meet up this same Tuesday night. The Selena Dawn response is um, negative! Here’s why. You’ve not given this new Tuesday suitor anything to work towards. In this case, they don’t have to work (if you agree to meet). In this case, one would surmise that you are an easy mark, needy, too eager, no real life as you so quickly dropped what you had going on (if anything at all) to meet this stranger.
You see, if new Tuesday suitor is beyond the hit it and quit it, or fast-food interactions, then you saying “no” to the same-day-we-met-date, then they will respect that and know that your time is valuable. Additionally, whether you are sitting around knitting or playing with your hands is of no concern of anyone but the message (again) is that you are worth some forethought, some future scheduling, and most importantly worth the wait.
As they say, anything worth having is worth waiting for and at the end of the day you want someone who believes, feels, lives, and breathes knowing that you are worth. When YOU respect and protect your own time then others will as well either on their own through your actions or by force through your actions!
There is definitely a thin line between playing games, putting someone off and the like (neither of which this blog supports) however the message again is just that you have to believe that you are worth it before anyone else is. This of course isn’t fool proof in that you may find a few who snuck through and wasted your time but guaranteed there will be a lot less of that and alot more of moments and memories created on your terms which by my account is NEVER a waste of time.