Codes of the female kind

As a woman, one will travel through various stages of the female life-cycle:  girl, young woman, woman, lady, etc and through each phase the mind evolves as well (or should).

Just as men have their ‘man codes’ there are codes women should follow (as originally written by E. Jean with added commentary).  These codes can be seen as nothing more than guidelines to how we treat and respect each other.


Basic Lady Codes

Now these things should come in the introductory female gift bag once one reaches puberty:

  • Never hate a woman you’ve never met.
  • Never date a friend’s ex.
  • Never reveal another female’s secret.
  • Never leave an inebriated friend alone at a bar.
  • Never invite a friend’s enemy to a party <—this is really petty to do and benefits no one especially when said enemy shows up and is the life of the party, most fashionable, and down right serving up the business in a friendly way.
  • Never dine alone with a friend’s boyfriend (unless it’s his last meal and he’s being shot at dawn) <–one would get a pass too if it’s a business discussion or planning something for the friend WITH the boyfriend.


Advanced Woman Codes

These are comprised of things that friend-girls should not cross as part of the unspoken womanhood creed:

  • Never stay silent when a friend is falling for an asshole.
  • Never favorite a best friend’s bon mot.  Always retweet it.
  • Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man.
  • Never refuse to write a recommendation for the offspring of a friend (no matter how big of a joke the kid may be)
  • Never steal your friend’s thunder at a dinner party – when she’s on, give her room!  Pound the table!  Bang your glass with a spoon!  Laugh the loudest at her story!
  • Never give your friend’s business four stars on Yelp.  Always give it five.
  • Never agree when a friend says she’s flabby, baggy, saggy, lumpy, floppy, veiny, squishy, scrawny, etc.,  etc.  Tell her to shut up. Tell her life is too short.  Tell her to eat, drink, and be merry <–we beat ourselves up enough, no need to have our friend agreeing.  Surely there is ONE singular kind thing to be said.

And finally……..Never treat other women disrespectfully:  It gives men ideas and in many cases permission to do so if they’re those type of men.  All in all, women should always have a set of rules they live and love by all in the name of being their very best self!

Be well!