New Year, Now What?

2015

Now that the 1st 24 hours of the new year have passed, that leaves 364 days remaining to set goals, strive to be a better you, lose weight, etc. How many have already given up or failed to launch altogether after turning in from the festivities of New Year’s Eve? Better yet, as the clock struck midnight on 12/31/14 and Auld Lang Syne was sang and played wherever you were fortunate enough to be, how did your 2014 goals, dreams, and desires stack up?

That’s the thing about New Year’s eve and up to the 1st week of the new year….we make so many plans yet find ourselves back in the day to day of our lives and routines with our ‘resolutions’ but a distant past.

Instead of “Resolutions” how bout just resolving to be your best self in 2015 which means different things to different people yet emits a light of positivity with a positive end state no matter who owns it.  Being your best self seems pretty attainable and not too restrictive while still being open to interpretation.  Being your best self enables you to start from where you are today be it (in your opinion) already your best self, wanting more, wanting something different or just plain seeking something new.  We all know that what you put out in the universe is what you get back so aiming to be your best self will no doubt return goodness and who couldn’t use that in their lives?!

Above thoughtsworking out, eating better, being honest, blah blah blah try working from the inside out as in the core of you and watch how it permeates throughout all corners of your life. The good thing with just striving to be your best self is that no matter how far you get in that quest you will still have made a difference…..in yourself.

Soooooo, New Year, Now What?

Now YOU!!!  Get out there and find yourself but not just any ole regular you, your BEST self!

Happy New Year!!!

Live your best LIFE not your best LIE

LIFE…..oh what a splendid thing! An adventure; a journey; for some a mirage!

So many of us have become so good at living a life of lies [for others] that we are merely a shell of a person, of our true selves – empty on the inside.  No one said life would be easy and if you ask anyone of a ‘particular age’ they would no doubt admit that they had NO IDEA THIS is what life would be like (good, bad or indifferent)!

good on the insideUnfortunately we, as individuals, complicate life oftentimes because of our pasts, what did or did not happen; our decisions and choices; our failures, letdowns and disappointments. In the midst of this thing called ‘LIFE’ we love to paint a picture of [semi] perfection in which we gladly and freely hide behind so much that we often lose ourselves in the process.  WHO are YOU?!

Be it an empty, unfulfilled, no-love marriage/relationship; to general delusions of who we THINK we are or shall I say who we want others to think we are (check the everyday Facebook, twitter, IG, or any other social media status).  It all comes down to living a lie for fear of, and it’s usually fear of something,  most likely what others would think if they knew otherwise.

Prime example:  RELATIONSHIPS!

People stay in relationships with those they know they don’t care about, aren’t meshed with, have fallen out of love with, grown apart from, or just simply can’t stand not to mention a situation that has just have run its course.  WHY?

Here are a few of my thoughts as to why…..[just my thoughts]

1.  Society thinks highly of a “duo” a.k.a “coupledom” vs singlehood (have you seen all the commercials on dating websites?)!  Like when has being single been akin to having the plague?  Let’s not even talk about divorce when so many are looking for holy matrimony (the biggest lie, one I wish people especially women would bury deep in a grave).  How dare someone divorce because they are no longer equally yoked, or unfulfilled or empty or just not wanting to be that anymore.

2.  An honest yet still a fear is staying in order to spare the other person any hurt and pain.  THIS I can completely sympathize with however how long can the charade continue before you are truly just a shell of yourself?

3.  Who wants to be alone?  Well honestly if you’re in an unfulfilled, empty relationship/marriage then technically you are ALONE!  lie to others not yourself

4.  Some would rather be miserable with someone because the world has bought into their facade and to give that up would be the ultimate crime right?  Not really.

5.  Many think and will say aloud:  “Well there’s nothing else out there and besides nothing is perfect” [blank stare]!  This has always been a crazy way to reason or rationalize a bad relationship or reason to stay in a less than desirable one.  The worst crime ever to oneself is living a lie, settling, making excuses for what IS instead of facing what is for WHAT IT IS.  There is ALWAYS something else out there and it’s called LIFE!

Another example I find is projecting what we want others to see when versus just living our truths.  See what people forget is that the truth always shows up.

We must live for ourselves so that we can TRULY live for others.  Living every day in the land of make-believe does nothing for the soul, the inner being.  Saying it aloud and projecting does not make it so for the soul always knows and at the end of the day when you are alone with your thoughts, that inner voice is ultimately the one you want singing your praises vs reminding you of your truth.

Every day people get up and play dress up with themselves except instead of clothes they are putting on personalities, images, lifestyles, overall facades; trickery and tom foolery for a myriad of reasons.  I’d bet money to say that it is a heavy burden to carry and weighs them down daily (unless they self-medicate with addictions a.k.a band-aids).  There is no peace greater than that of inner peace.  Who wants to come ‘home’ to the true truth especially if we’ve been living an untruth all day?  That is merely existing, not living and who wants to waste their lives doing that?

life_new day

The beauty of life is that it’s never too late (until it’s too late) to make a change, to start anew, to reinvent oneself.  The hardest step is always the first but your inner being will be forever grateful.  As Iyanla [Vanzant] says, “you have to do the work” and really that is the secret.  Whatever you want to happen in your life will require work.  Often this work is tedious, unrewarding [at the time], and sometimes arduous but in the end it will all be worth it because whatever the outcome will be solely based on your merits in truth.

So no more excuses, no more tall tales, and empty promises; no more playing dress-up with your life, your story; no more existing vs living; no more lies to the world and mainly those you make to yourself.

The biggest lie you can and will ever tell is that which you tell yourself.  Start at the conclusion of this message by freeing yourself from the chains that you have placed upon you so you can truly live your best LIFE and not your best LIE!

Be well!!

 

 

 

Rejuvenate the Body, Inside – Out

As I’m always on a quest to resurrect my soul I thought I would share this post I stumbled upon from the one and only Deepak Chopra.

be the master of self

 

 

Your body is boundless. It’s channeling the energy, creativity, and intelligence of the entire universe.

 

 

Are you ready for a radical change in the way you see your body?

Before we can reinvent our bodies, we must be willing to let go of our old limiting beliefs about our bodies that continue to imprison us.

Consider the following:

  • If the body is just a machine that wears out over time, then why do muscles grow stronger with use and bone density increase with weight bearing exercise?
  • If the brain is merely a biological computer, then would we be able change it through learning, meditation and the experience of compassion?
  • If our bodies are only a passive product of our genetic code, then why would our behavior be able to change the expression of some genes?
  • You share 60% of your genes with a banana, 90% with a mouse, and more than 99% with a chimpanzee. What does this fact tell us about our uniqueness in physical and non-physical terms?

Exercises

1. Think of a personal experience from your own life, where the limiting physical properties of the body were superseded by a concept of the body as a flow of energy and intelligence.

2. Make a list of any physical ailments you are experiencing in your body — these may be related to weight loss or gain, physical ailments, disease, etc.

Next to each desired change, think about the thoughts related to each ailment versus the physical experience of each one.

Now, make an intention to change your assumptions about these realities. (Ie. My intent is to think of a beam of sunlight radiating my soul every time I experience back pain or my intent is to think of loved ones when I experience heart burn today.)

3. This week, make a point to observe the thoughts inside you. Take extra note of the thoughts, images and memories that make you believe in unconditional spiritual love. These positive feelings are signposts towards a future opening in the expansion of your soul.

Take notes on how you want to manifest these positive feelings of love even more in your life.

Well Heeled Souls

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Doing the RIGHT thing!

Hardest things_same things

In life we are always presented with choices and oftentimes the outcome is dependent upon how we approach, deliver, and prepare ourselves for the response to said choice.

Sometimes doing what is hardest for you to do, and doing what is best, is the same exact thing. If we ever desire to live a righteous life, we have to be willing to sometimes not speak our mind when we know we can prove a point. It may mean saying goodbye to a person in your life that you never thought you would have to be without. Doing the right thing may mean that you have to go against the majority or popular opinion to stand up for what you feel in your heart you should stand up for.

Doing the easiest thing is not always what will be most beneficial to you. Many times we have to challenge our beliefs, our practices, and ourselves to see how we can really grow. So make the extra effort, and ask yourself about the situations that you encounter daily, in a new focus. Don’t look to do only what is easiest for yourself; focus on doing what is right.

Love is…..

Love inexplainable

 

 

Love is 24/7, not JUST Valentine’s Day!

 

 

 

 

There’s truly NOTHING better than LOVE!

The feel…..

The sound….

The look….

The touch of LOVE!

Unfortunately LOVE seems to be elusive for many yet sought by all!  Let me challenge you this Valentine’s Day 2014 to first figure out how to love yourself and in that you will ALWAYS be surrounded by LOVE!

Happy Valentines

 

In the end, only 3 things matter:  how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let got of things not meant for you.  ~ Buddha

Coping your way to a Well-Heeled Soul

LIFE….she’s a crazy broad that’s for sure.

Temperamental. Spiteful.  Comedian.  Full of surprises, tests, and pop quizzes.

Always finding a way to throw a monkey wrench in your plans.

Life most certainly has a strange sense of humor but SHE (as I’m certain LIFE is a woman) always has a way of showing up on your doorstep when you most need her, least expect her, or just plain not prepared to deal with her.  To anyone who thinks that LIFE only happens to them especially when that LIFE is less than desirable or uncomfortable or painful really needs a reality check.

We often ‘think’ we are the only ones being handed a pile of shambles but the truth is of course that at any given time everyone is carrying a load – just different in weight, size, shape, etc.   The difference is all in how we deal with it the WHAT that is happening to us.  Just like dealing with any living, breathing woman, if you smile, wave and keep it moving you’ll always keep em guessing but asking ‘her’ why she doesn’t like you and why is she always visiting will only make things awkward, more uncomfortable and never solve for X.

If I’ve learned nothing in my life (life of a woman of a particular age) it is that we must figure out how best to deal with LIFE’s peaks and valleys in order to be our best selves.  To weather the storms, peaks and valleys we MUST learn how to cope in the midst of.

Coping:  In psychology, coping is expending conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress or conflict.

Being a relatively rational, logical and even-keeled person (so I’ve heard and believe myself to be), I have wholeheartedly accepted that at any given time, life will come along and throw an entire monkey wrench into my world.  The process I take is always to embrace what is happening so I can deal with it realistically, acknowledge HOW I feel about so I can cry, get mad, have a cocktail (lol), pep talk, pound my fist, and then strap up my stilettos and strategize my resolution.  Above all else, I thank God and the universe that whatever has occurred was not worse – as things can ALWAYS be worse than what is – (i.e., nail in my tire enroute to an out of town function only to realize it because I chose to get gas prior to getting dressed and on the road for my trip.  My entire plan had to be revamped on the fly at the last minute – to include getting a rental car as it was a Saturday just prior to me departing and the tire – under warranty – needed to be looked at/repaired at the place of purchase in case it had to be totally replaced and said place was closed and 30 mins out the way [at no cost by the way]).  Not exactly the way I envisioned things to go but guaranteed that harping on it and thinking it was the end of the world would have only made me slip further into suicide mode.  Honestly I was just thrilled that I wasn’t on my way or on the interstate without realizing there was a nail.  So as life knocked on my door to say hello at a seemingly inopportune time, I was able to avoid a potentially worse situation by being slightly inconvenienced.  By acknowledging this the stars lined up in my favor(actually got a rental, was able to use my hertz free rental resulting in me paying just $9, got on the road, arrived late but safe).

To further substantiate how to minimize the blow via the mind’s view of life no matter what hand we are dealt let me share what could easily have been an entire bag of lemons and life shake-up but instead a tall glass of state fair freshly squeezed lemonade.

I heard something on the radio earlier today that adds a nice bow around “Coping your way to a Well-Heeled Soul” and it was something along these lines:

A lady recounted the day she was informed she had cancer and she stated that instead of asking God “why her” she simply said “Please give me the strength and courage to be a blessing to others as I go through my healing”…….pause on that for a second.

As much as one’s attitude in life is everything so too is your attitude TOWARDS life for looking at things with a woe is me attitude is defeatist and non-productive, not to mention changes NOTHING.  More often then not, doing so blocks your blessings if not completely blinds you to your blessing.

My coping practices:

1.  Acknowledge what has just occurred; taking stock of how it makes you feel and embrace those feelings (caveat:  if danger is present then identify safety measures, methods to remove self from the potential danger)

2.  Give thanks and gratitude for the positives of the situation as there ALWAYS is a positive

3.  Begin strategizing next steps, resolutions, etc.

4.  Breathe

5.  Execute strategy, next step(s), resolution

Above all else just count your blessings it may be RIGHT in front of you being less than grateful just closed the blessing door.  Know that life is just doing her job and for each test you either pass or fail.  Coping does not negate what is happening nor does it resolve for what is happening but it definitely empowers you to get back in the driver’s seat!

So next time LIFE shows up, talk to her, tell her she looks pretty today but let her know you are a Well-Heeled Soul and you have other things to do!

Alone Time….Party for 1

We only live once. We all have an expiration date after that we will never come again. I am not saying that to make you sad. I am saying that so you can cherish each moment in your life and be grateful that you are here and you are special.  – Pablo

You.Are.Special!   YOU are special….yes you!  If more people recognized this, and not in a narcissistic fashion, but in a way that enables them to give less of themselves away with very little ROI there would be a lot less broken, tattered individuals merely existing.  What exactly does that mean?  Well it’s quite simple.  How many stories have you heard from friends or friends of friends wherein said individual continuously accepted less than desirable behavior from another?  Too many times or perhaps you are that individual.

images (6)Why though?  Because you have not realized (yet) that you are special and worthy.  The ability to see this I believe comes from spending quality ‘alone’ time with yourself.   Not just alone time because you are alone, but alone time with your thoughts, feelings, emotions, core of your being.  Digging deep to address (read:  face) those things in your life that speak the loudest; address the joys and pains in your life both past and present to make peace with them; really identify WHO you are and what makes you tick.  For knowing WHO you truly are is the key to preserving as much of yourself and your worth as possible.

For example, by being one who has spent alot of quality ‘alone’ time with my party for 1, I know exactly what I deserve, how I expect to be treated by others, what I will and will not tolerate from others.  I’ve also learned to enjoy my alone time and not feel the need to surround myself with others just for the sake of having others around.  It has empowered me in a sense to not be afraid to speak up when someone treats me unkind or less than deserving.  As the saying goes, we must teach people how to treat us and we can only do this by communicating to others what is and is not acceptable merely by NOT being accepting of anything.

So as the quote above says, “……cherish each moment in your life and be grateful that you are here and you are special” and therefore NOT waste a single moment giving yourself away to things, people, situations that do not value and respect that including you.

What will you do to preserve YOUR special?

~Selena Dawn  

Bare Soles…..bare SOULS

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.  – Ayn Rand

 

images (17)“The world you desire CAN be won” but YOU have to want it, live it, breathe it and not allow the world around you to tell you otherwise.  Ever feel a sense of relief when climbing out of your designer heels and planting your feet square on the ground? Baring your soul, your inner-you renders the same euphoric feeling or sense of bliss.  The key is getting to the inner you to comfortably and with confidence bare your soul.

To often we spend our days living for someone else; living behind ourselves for fear of what the reveal will expose.  In doing so we are not truly living so much as we are existing.  We must come from behind the shadows of ourselves to fully experience a life that is exactly what we design and strictly by our rules.  We must discontinue the business of allowing others to determine our destiny by settling and making excuses for them and ourselves.

Think about it, that relationship you think you have, with the man who is merely giving you crumbs because that is what you accept.  Are you really in a relationship that is satisfying your needs?  Are you in a relationship at all or is this just a figment of a relationship because it is “all that you know” or all you feel you deserve?  Are you in a relationship with someone yet you feel all alone or are operating as if you are a party of one?  Well guess what, you probably are!!

I’m here to tell you that you deserve more and should demand more, not from him per se but from YOURSELF!  When we understand our true market value and overall worth then we can live a life that is ours and ours alone because we are less apt to settle for crumbs thrown by another who is often not even worthy.

When we know our value, understand our worth, and uphold ourselves to those standards we can then live and give freely and not in hopes of getting something in return.  When we guard our time as the precious commodity it is and protect it from those not vested nor able to respect it we are then taking responsibility for our lives by dictating the terms, by reflecting outward our expectations.  Ultimately we are empowering ourselves by taking ownership for our lives versus allowing another to make the choice for us.  Baring one’s soul starts with baby steps until you understand perhaps where/who you are, where/who you’ve been, and where/who you want to be.

You see, bare soles represents being grounded in a soul that is bare because you have tapped into your inner being to live the fullest life possible with only those in it who are deserving and most worthy of being there!

Next time you bare your soles, take time to bare your soul!

~ Selena Dawn

Getting to YOU!

Early one recent Saturday morning I was awaken because I had fallen asleep with my TV on.  I had fallen asleep to a sitcom but was awaken by some “inspirational show”.  Normally I would immediately turn it off but as I searched for the remote with one eye open in a TV lit room something caught my attention!  The speaker was spot on and from what I gathered the goal of course is to have a foundation in the Creator, but also being able to encourage and motivate yourself, become healed, become successful at what you desire, and pass the message.  A few points resonated with me and this is my take on them:

Self portrait determines self confidence:  The picture that you would like to paint of yourself should be the who, what and how of you…who you truly are, what you surround yourself with, and how you perceive yourself.

Attitude determines access: Knowing that you are of greatness and can achieve greatness in your passion allows for endless possibilities.

Recognize the positive in every situation: Know that things don’t just happen, believe that your steps are ordered and that being true to you and in your daily walk having the strength to sit on the park bench, breathe during the “storms” of life, and find the silver lining will take you far. Find that favorite quote, song, saying or scripture and repeat it daily.

Decisions decide wealth: Wealth may not be monetary, but peace, happiness or all of the above. We have to believe that every right decision is placing us one step closer to the place of wealth that we each desire.

I was so taken with the message that I took notes and I’m working on exercising them. This journey to getting to me is a trip worth taking! Let’s go!

Healing Your Brokenness….


Brokenness is like a disease, if not treated it can take over your life. And often times the one that is broken is unable to heal on their own. When a relationship is ending be it a marriage, friendship or partnership it is important to take an honest look at the role that you played in that disconnect, though hard, it is helpful to go deep within yourself evaluate you and determine if there is anything you could have done differently. The different could be from the way you interacted (communication, compromising, openness, etc.)  in the relationship to just were you true to yourself in the relationship. Take ownership!

The saying hurt people, hurt people is very true.  I recently had an experience where a broken person tried to hurt me by saying something that was so untrue, outside of my character and just down right rude, that it deeply hurt me. Initially I didn’t recognize the true issue but as I told the story to one of my confidants, I realized this person is not seeing the true issue for what it is, but instead is STILL trying to find fault and blame in me for the break down in our relationship.  Again take ownership and be honest  with yourself then the healing can begin. Don’t allow someone else’s brokenness become your broken mess!
The Selena Dawn