LIFE….she’s a crazy broad that’s for sure.
Temperamental. Spiteful. Comedian. Full of surprises, tests, and pop quizzes.
Always finding a way to throw a monkey wrench in your plans.
Life most certainly has a strange sense of humor but SHE (as I’m certain LIFE is a woman) always has a way of showing up on your doorstep when you most need her, least expect her, or just plain not prepared to deal with her. To anyone who thinks that LIFE only happens to them especially when that LIFE is less than desirable or uncomfortable or painful really needs a reality check.
We often ‘think’ we are the only ones being handed a pile of shambles but the truth is of course that at any given time everyone is carrying a load – just different in weight, size, shape, etc. The difference is all in how we deal with it the WHAT that is happening to us. Just like dealing with any living, breathing woman, if you smile, wave and keep it moving you’ll always keep em guessing but asking ‘her’ why she doesn’t like you and why is she always visiting will only make things awkward, more uncomfortable and never solve for X.
If I’ve learned nothing in my life (life of a woman of a particular age) it is that we must figure out how best to deal with LIFE’s peaks and valleys in order to be our best selves. To weather the storms, peaks and valleys we MUST learn how to cope in the midst of.
Coping: In psychology, coping is expending conscious effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress or conflict.
Being a relatively rational, logical and even-keeled person (so I’ve heard and believe myself to be), I have wholeheartedly accepted that at any given time, life will come along and throw an entire monkey wrench into my world. The process I take is always to embrace what is happening so I can deal with it realistically, acknowledge HOW I feel about so I can cry, get mad, have a cocktail (lol), pep talk, pound my fist, and then strap up my stilettos and strategize my resolution. Above all else, I thank God and the universe that whatever has occurred was not worse – as things can ALWAYS be worse than what is – (i.e., nail in my tire enroute to an out of town function only to realize it because I chose to get gas prior to getting dressed and on the road for my trip. My entire plan had to be revamped on the fly at the last minute – to include getting a rental car as it was a Saturday just prior to me departing and the tire – under warranty – needed to be looked at/repaired at the place of purchase in case it had to be totally replaced and said place was closed and 30 mins out the way [at no cost by the way]). Not exactly the way I envisioned things to go but guaranteed that harping on it and thinking it was the end of the world would have only made me slip further into suicide mode. Honestly I was just thrilled that I wasn’t on my way or on the interstate without realizing there was a nail. So as life knocked on my door to say hello at a seemingly inopportune time, I was able to avoid a potentially worse situation by being slightly inconvenienced. By acknowledging this the stars lined up in my favor(actually got a rental, was able to use my hertz free rental resulting in me paying just $9, got on the road, arrived late but safe).
To further substantiate how to minimize the blow via the mind’s view of life no matter what hand we are dealt let me share what could easily have been an entire bag of lemons and life shake-up but instead a tall glass of state fair freshly squeezed lemonade.
I heard something on the radio earlier today that adds a nice bow around “Coping your way to a Well-Heeled Soul” and it was something along these lines:
A lady recounted the day she was informed she had cancer and she stated that instead of asking God “why her” she simply said “Please give me the strength and courage to be a blessing to others as I go through my healing”…….pause on that for a second.
As much as one’s attitude in life is everything so too is your attitude TOWARDS life for looking at things with a woe is me attitude is defeatist and non-productive, not to mention changes NOTHING. More often then not, doing so blocks your blessings if not completely blinds you to your blessing.
My coping practices:
1. Acknowledge what has just occurred; taking stock of how it makes you feel and embrace those feelings (caveat: if danger is present then identify safety measures, methods to remove self from the potential danger)
2. Give thanks and gratitude for the positives of the situation as there ALWAYS is a positive
3. Begin strategizing next steps, resolutions, etc.
5. Execute strategy, next step(s), resolution
Above all else just count your blessings it may be RIGHT in front of you being less than grateful just closed the blessing door. Know that life is just doing her job and for each test you either pass or fail. Coping does not negate what is happening nor does it resolve for what is happening but it definitely empowers you to get back in the driver’s seat!
So next time LIFE shows up, talk to her, tell her she looks pretty today but let her know you are a Well-Heeled Soul and you have other things to do!