Live your best LIFE not your best LIE

LIFE…..oh what a splendid thing! An adventure; a journey; for some a mirage!

So many of us have become so good at living a life of lies [for others] that we are merely a shell of a person, of our true selves – empty on the inside.  No one said life would be easy and if you ask anyone of a ‘particular age’ they would no doubt admit that they had NO IDEA THIS is what life would be like (good, bad or indifferent)!

good on the insideUnfortunately we, as individuals, complicate life oftentimes because of our pasts, what did or did not happen; our decisions and choices; our failures, letdowns and disappointments. In the midst of this thing called ‘LIFE’ we love to paint a picture of [semi] perfection in which we gladly and freely hide behind so much that we often lose ourselves in the process.  WHO are YOU?!

Be it an empty, unfulfilled, no-love marriage/relationship; to general delusions of who we THINK we are or shall I say who we want others to think we are (check the everyday Facebook, twitter, IG, or any other social media status).  It all comes down to living a lie for fear of, and it’s usually fear of something,  most likely what others would think if they knew otherwise.

Prime example:  RELATIONSHIPS!

People stay in relationships with those they know they don’t care about, aren’t meshed with, have fallen out of love with, grown apart from, or just simply can’t stand not to mention a situation that has just have run its course.  WHY?

Here are a few of my thoughts as to why…..[just my thoughts]

1.  Society thinks highly of a “duo” a.k.a “coupledom” vs singlehood (have you seen all the commercials on dating websites?)!  Like when has being single been akin to having the plague?  Let’s not even talk about divorce when so many are looking for holy matrimony (the biggest lie, one I wish people especially women would bury deep in a grave).  How dare someone divorce because they are no longer equally yoked, or unfulfilled or empty or just not wanting to be that anymore.

2.  An honest yet still a fear is staying in order to spare the other person any hurt and pain.  THIS I can completely sympathize with however how long can the charade continue before you are truly just a shell of yourself?

3.  Who wants to be alone?  Well honestly if you’re in an unfulfilled, empty relationship/marriage then technically you are ALONE!  lie to others not yourself

4.  Some would rather be miserable with someone because the world has bought into their facade and to give that up would be the ultimate crime right?  Not really.

5.  Many think and will say aloud:  “Well there’s nothing else out there and besides nothing is perfect” [blank stare]!  This has always been a crazy way to reason or rationalize a bad relationship or reason to stay in a less than desirable one.  The worst crime ever to oneself is living a lie, settling, making excuses for what IS instead of facing what is for WHAT IT IS.  There is ALWAYS something else out there and it’s called LIFE!

Another example I find is projecting what we want others to see when versus just living our truths.  See what people forget is that the truth always shows up.

We must live for ourselves so that we can TRULY live for others.  Living every day in the land of make-believe does nothing for the soul, the inner being.  Saying it aloud and projecting does not make it so for the soul always knows and at the end of the day when you are alone with your thoughts, that inner voice is ultimately the one you want singing your praises vs reminding you of your truth.

Every day people get up and play dress up with themselves except instead of clothes they are putting on personalities, images, lifestyles, overall facades; trickery and tom foolery for a myriad of reasons.  I’d bet money to say that it is a heavy burden to carry and weighs them down daily (unless they self-medicate with addictions a.k.a band-aids).  There is no peace greater than that of inner peace.  Who wants to come ‘home’ to the true truth especially if we’ve been living an untruth all day?  That is merely existing, not living and who wants to waste their lives doing that?

life_new day

The beauty of life is that it’s never too late (until it’s too late) to make a change, to start anew, to reinvent oneself.  The hardest step is always the first but your inner being will be forever grateful.  As Iyanla [Vanzant] says, “you have to do the work” and really that is the secret.  Whatever you want to happen in your life will require work.  Often this work is tedious, unrewarding [at the time], and sometimes arduous but in the end it will all be worth it because whatever the outcome will be solely based on your merits in truth.

So no more excuses, no more tall tales, and empty promises; no more playing dress-up with your life, your story; no more existing vs living; no more lies to the world and mainly those you make to yourself.

The biggest lie you can and will ever tell is that which you tell yourself.  Start at the conclusion of this message by freeing yourself from the chains that you have placed upon you so you can truly live your best LIFE and not your best LIE!

Be well!!

 

 

 

Bare Soles…..bare SOULS

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it’s yours.  – Ayn Rand

 

images (17)“The world you desire CAN be won” but YOU have to want it, live it, breathe it and not allow the world around you to tell you otherwise.  Ever feel a sense of relief when climbing out of your designer heels and planting your feet square on the ground? Baring your soul, your inner-you renders the same euphoric feeling or sense of bliss.  The key is getting to the inner you to comfortably and with confidence bare your soul.

To often we spend our days living for someone else; living behind ourselves for fear of what the reveal will expose.  In doing so we are not truly living so much as we are existing.  We must come from behind the shadows of ourselves to fully experience a life that is exactly what we design and strictly by our rules.  We must discontinue the business of allowing others to determine our destiny by settling and making excuses for them and ourselves.

Think about it, that relationship you think you have, with the man who is merely giving you crumbs because that is what you accept.  Are you really in a relationship that is satisfying your needs?  Are you in a relationship at all or is this just a figment of a relationship because it is “all that you know” or all you feel you deserve?  Are you in a relationship with someone yet you feel all alone or are operating as if you are a party of one?  Well guess what, you probably are!!

I’m here to tell you that you deserve more and should demand more, not from him per se but from YOURSELF!  When we understand our true market value and overall worth then we can live a life that is ours and ours alone because we are less apt to settle for crumbs thrown by another who is often not even worthy.

When we know our value, understand our worth, and uphold ourselves to those standards we can then live and give freely and not in hopes of getting something in return.  When we guard our time as the precious commodity it is and protect it from those not vested nor able to respect it we are then taking responsibility for our lives by dictating the terms, by reflecting outward our expectations.  Ultimately we are empowering ourselves by taking ownership for our lives versus allowing another to make the choice for us.  Baring one’s soul starts with baby steps until you understand perhaps where/who you are, where/who you’ve been, and where/who you want to be.

You see, bare soles represents being grounded in a soul that is bare because you have tapped into your inner being to live the fullest life possible with only those in it who are deserving and most worthy of being there!

Next time you bare your soles, take time to bare your soul!

~ Selena Dawn