So you probably think this will be some long rant about men doing women wrong or how men are bad and trifling and there are no good men out there. Well no….not exactly! Instead this is more about women finding their strength, their voice to not subject themselves to relationships that leave them feeling disrespected, dazed and confused.
Surely we all have or have had that one friend who continues to allow herself to be disrespected, disregarded, and otherwise treated unkind in her relationship. For some of us watching this train wreck from the sidelines it is easy to resort to name calling as we attempt to get her to see that the relationship and/or partner is no good for her. For a small number of us we see the train wreck yet do what we can to just support our friend while reassuring her that we will be there as a friend with no judgment or criticism of her relationship.
No matter which role we play, we can all agree on one thing and that is the fact that a woman will only choose to end a relationship once she is fed up or simply has had ENOUGH! This threshold of “enough” varies based on our perception of our self-worth, our value system, confidence levels, self-esteem and overall tolerance.
It IS hard to watch a loved one or anyone you care about put themselves through such unnecessary grief but only she who is in the relationship can make the choice to remove herself and typically that ONLY happens when she has truly become fed up. A relationship, although trying at times should NOT be an ongoing battle of blatant disrespect no matter the situation.
It is truly like watching a really bad movie yet being unable to press stop. You know, screaming at the actors on the screen, yelling instructions to them and shaking your head at the obvious. YET, it’s as if no one hears you, the bad movie continues with the actors executing their story lines. Much like the many women day in and day who execute their story lines because they aren’t strong enough to do otherwise. The only you can do is sit back and watch while hoping the ‘movie’ ends soon.
There is no greater lie than the one women tell themselves and only when they get T I R E D will they face the music and dig deep to choose better. You see, we all get tired of something and only then do we have [find] the courage to change our situation versus allowing the situation to change us. There is nothing anyone can say to convince her to leave for she will only leave or discontinue the disrespect when she is fed up.
As in life, everything is a process and she who feels trapped or stuck in a nothing relationship will tire of the lies (to herself and others) and will realize she is much better than that which she is allowing.
So I challenge you to ponder the following:
– Does this feel good to me (a certain behavior, interaction, etc.)?
– Have I thought that I deserve better?
– Do I compensate for his bad behavior (thru excuses I make on his behalf; lies I tell myself/others)?
– Does this add to or take away from who I am as a person?
When will you be fed up?